The Blessings of Smallness
Another great article by Chellie Campbell. It articulates very well some of my deepest beliefs about work and work-life balance.
There are great blessings in being small. Besides being more comfortable with a smaller level of risk, I know what the difference is between speaking to groups of twelve and speaking to groups of hundreds or thousands. When I speak to large groups, it is a performance. It is like an actor’s performance in a play. There is communication, but it is on a different level. Often, the audience is in the dark, and the spotlight in my eyes means I can’t see them. I hear them when they laugh at my jokes, and I feel the energy when they’re with me emotionally. I like the applause and it’s certainly a big thrill when I get a standing ovation.
But those benefits would not sustain me over the long haul. The experience is, in the end, impersonal. If I have inspired or motivated someone to change their life, I don’t know about it. I don’t hear the stories of the people in the audience. I think that is why performing bored me during a long run. The part of acting I enjoyed most was the rehearsal period. That’s when the actors, director, and production team invented the show, worked out bits of business, and tried different approaches. That was swimming in the creative current, catching the flow of the piece and bouncing along on the raft with the other artists. The reason I’ve been able to teach my workshops for over fifteen years without losing interest or becoming bored, is because of the individual participants who share their stories with me and allow me to participate with them in shaping their lives. I learn from them as much as they learn from me. It is interactive. It is creative. It is personal. That is what is fulfilling and fun for me.
Staying small means I continue to have the personal interaction I want, and freedom, too. I can structure my life so that work is more part-time and I have more time off to read, travel and play. As I get more successful, I can add a few more people in the workshops. Once the current session is filled up to capacity, I can fill up future workshops. Perhaps one day they could be filled up for six months or a year in advance. Then I would only have to show up to teach the classes and could lighten up on all the other tasks like networking, enrollment calls, etc. I don’t do one-on-one coaching, because I determined that the more successful I got, the more hours would be filled up with coaching sessions, and then I would run out of time and have a waiting list. And I’d be working 40-50 hours a week. That isn’t my model for success because although it meets the income goals, it doesn’t meet the life goals. My life goal has to include more free time for me—not more time devoted to the business. Not more calls and more networking and more pushing to get bigger venues filled to pay more salaries and more rent for more space and more phones and more personnel to answer them and and and…
This work model means I work fewer hours as I get more successful, instead of more hours. I like that—how about you? But my goals don’t fit everyone. There are no one-size-fits-all goals.
My friends and clients have said to me, “Chellie, you could have a television show, too!” I always say, “No, thanks!” I don’t want to have my own show. I want to appear on someone else’s show. Dr. Phil had a once-a-week gig on Oprah for two years. That was a perfect set-up in my opinion. He has his own show now, and I’m glad for him, if that’s what he wants. But to me, that just looks like too much work. What good is a lot more money and fame if you don’t have time off to enjoy it?
It was the same when I was acting. I always liked the second lead parts—the funny, dancing lead—better than the leading lady roles. I’d much rather play feisty Ado Annie than lovelorn Laurie in Oklahoma, or perky Gladys in The Pajama Game rather than the soppy love interest. Once in summer stock, a director wanted to cast me as Wendy in Peter Pan. He sought me out and announced his casting decision to me happily, thinking I’d be delighted since Wendy was a leading role. “Yuck,” I said. “Can’t I do Tiger Lily instead? Wendy’s on stage all the time and doesn’t even have a song, and Tiger Lily has two!” He was very surprised by that, but thankfully, he let me have my way. I had fun, got a lot of attention, and didn’t have to work too hard. “Ug-a-wug-WAH!”
The lesson is to know what you want so you can pick the path that will lead you there. Don’t be blinded by the glitter of the wrappings. Look within the box at the real present inside the package. Then decide if that’s what you really want. It doesn’t matter if everyone else thinks that’s the best goal in the world, if getting it won’t make you happy or fulfilled. And it doesn’t matter if everyone else thinks your goal is crazy, either. Do you think Marta’s friends and family thought it was a fine idea for her to buy a theater in a ghost town and paint an audience on the walls of it to perform for? Your goal is your goal you don’t have to answer to anyone else about whether it’s the right goal or the best goal. It’s your goal, and that’s all that counts.
To be fair, there is a downside to being small. Some people may discount you, pay you no attention, think you’d be bigger if you could be, think you’re a failure, and chide you for not honoring the adage “Go big or go home.”
Let them. Who cares if they don’t understand you? Let them discover for themselves that contentment can be found in small things; that your mom was right when she told you that big presents often come in small packages. Zillionaires can be big or small. It all depends on whether or not you are being true to your inner goals. Here is the one-question test: Are you happy?
My goal now is to be a Wise Woman. I want to help others find the wisdom within themselves so that they can live a good and honorable life, full of riches—interior ones and exterior ones. I don’t have to change the world and I don’t have to be famous. I will help the people who find me; the people who want what I have. And I will help them find their own-size goals, not necessarily world-size goals. If one of my books becomes a bestseller that will be great, because that will mean I’m helping a lot of people. I’ll make a lot of money, too, and that is certainly a fine thing. But if it is only treasured by a few, it is just as worthwhile to me, because I care about each reader and want to feel I have helped them. The Wealthy Spirit hasn’t qualified for bestseller status, yet I have received thousands of letters of thanks and appreciation from readers that have warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Those letters, and the fun I have with the process of writing, are enough to satisfy me.
Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. He was way off. With all the reality shows, interview shows, talk shows, shout shows, 500 channels on television, and a million magazines and their constant barrages about food, money and sex, everyone only gets fifteen seconds now. Everyone promises you the moon and the millions. I get email ads from authors every day, saying “Buy my book on amazon.com on Friday and I’ll become a #1 bestseller (for a day) and in return, I’ll send you $8,500 worth of free gifts!” Why do you have to bribe me with $8,500 in free gifts to buy a $20 book? Can’t a $20 book just be a great $20 value? T. Harv said that Robert Kiyosaki told him he wanted to have the best-selling book, not the best written book. Does it have to be an either-or proposition? It’s all too much. Too much hype, too much stuff, too many people. Not enough life. Not enough joy. Not enough Zillionaire.
In their futurist book, The 500 Year Delta, Watts Wacker and Jim Taylor with Howard Means state that “What society has always treasured is what is scarce. The old status objects are all over the place, begging to be bought. Satisfaction and domestic contentment have rarity, and rarity, as always, has the greatest value.” This book was published in 1997, but I never forgot this passage: “If you want status, walk into a room and announce that, amidst the ambient chaos of our times, you’re a happy person.”
I’ve found that happy people never have to make that declaration. You can smell it on them. You can see it in their eyes; you can feel the energy of the joy that pours from them. I used to hunger for that, and tried the diets and the high heels and the status jobs in order to get it. But those aren’t the things that get it for you. When you find the work that makes you sing, and helps others to sing along with you—that’s where happiness lies. Whatever someone else might say about me or my “success”, I know that I’ve never been happier in my life. I’m living my life the way I want, I’m doing the work I want, and I have enough of the things I want.
I don’t have to be all things to all people. I can be something to some people. I am delighted with the dolphins that have found my work helpful to them. How many of them there are will be the result of grassroots word-of-mouth, not because I pay the most money for the biggest advertising campaign, the most email spam, or the most appearances on television. Some 300,000 books are published every year. Who’s going to buy all those books? I’m not going to run around frantically hyping my books, saying “Pick me! Pick me!” I love to talk, so I’ll do book signings and I’ll give a few speeches. If I’m lucky, I’ll do some radio shows, and if I’m really lucky, I’ll be on television shows. I will radiate my joy and love and helpfulness as much as I can. My job, as my coach Greg Mooers says, is to “glow purple.” Then everyone who wants purple will be attracted to that and come find me. I am content to be rare.
It’s because I love myself now, that I can love my life. Because I love myself, I can love you. If accolades come, that’ll be fun. If I get a little taste of fame, that’ll be fun, too. More money, more fun. But my life is fun anyway. Do you see?
What do you want, Zillionaire? Why do you want it? How is your life without it? What is important to you when night falls? The purpose of work is to be happy at home. Home isn’t a support to make you better at your job. Your spouse and your children aren’t there to get stuff done for you so that you can work harder, longer hours. They aren’t irritations. They are your heart. They are your life. Make sure your goals include loving and nurturing them, or you are spending your energy on wrappings instead of gifts.
There are great blessings in being small. Besides being more comfortable with a smaller level of risk, I know what the difference is between speaking to groups of twelve and speaking to groups of hundreds or thousands. When I speak to large groups, it is a performance. It is like an actor’s performance in a play. There is communication, but it is on a different level. Often, the audience is in the dark, and the spotlight in my eyes means I can’t see them. I hear them when they laugh at my jokes, and I feel the energy when they’re with me emotionally. I like the applause and it’s certainly a big thrill when I get a standing ovation.
But those benefits would not sustain me over the long haul. The experience is, in the end, impersonal. If I have inspired or motivated someone to change their life, I don’t know about it. I don’t hear the stories of the people in the audience. I think that is why performing bored me during a long run. The part of acting I enjoyed most was the rehearsal period. That’s when the actors, director, and production team invented the show, worked out bits of business, and tried different approaches. That was swimming in the creative current, catching the flow of the piece and bouncing along on the raft with the other artists. The reason I’ve been able to teach my workshops for over fifteen years without losing interest or becoming bored, is because of the individual participants who share their stories with me and allow me to participate with them in shaping their lives. I learn from them as much as they learn from me. It is interactive. It is creative. It is personal. That is what is fulfilling and fun for me.
Staying small means I continue to have the personal interaction I want, and freedom, too. I can structure my life so that work is more part-time and I have more time off to read, travel and play. As I get more successful, I can add a few more people in the workshops. Once the current session is filled up to capacity, I can fill up future workshops. Perhaps one day they could be filled up for six months or a year in advance. Then I would only have to show up to teach the classes and could lighten up on all the other tasks like networking, enrollment calls, etc. I don’t do one-on-one coaching, because I determined that the more successful I got, the more hours would be filled up with coaching sessions, and then I would run out of time and have a waiting list. And I’d be working 40-50 hours a week. That isn’t my model for success because although it meets the income goals, it doesn’t meet the life goals. My life goal has to include more free time for me—not more time devoted to the business. Not more calls and more networking and more pushing to get bigger venues filled to pay more salaries and more rent for more space and more phones and more personnel to answer them and and and…
This work model means I work fewer hours as I get more successful, instead of more hours. I like that—how about you? But my goals don’t fit everyone. There are no one-size-fits-all goals.
My friends and clients have said to me, “Chellie, you could have a television show, too!” I always say, “No, thanks!” I don’t want to have my own show. I want to appear on someone else’s show. Dr. Phil had a once-a-week gig on Oprah for two years. That was a perfect set-up in my opinion. He has his own show now, and I’m glad for him, if that’s what he wants. But to me, that just looks like too much work. What good is a lot more money and fame if you don’t have time off to enjoy it?
It was the same when I was acting. I always liked the second lead parts—the funny, dancing lead—better than the leading lady roles. I’d much rather play feisty Ado Annie than lovelorn Laurie in Oklahoma, or perky Gladys in The Pajama Game rather than the soppy love interest. Once in summer stock, a director wanted to cast me as Wendy in Peter Pan. He sought me out and announced his casting decision to me happily, thinking I’d be delighted since Wendy was a leading role. “Yuck,” I said. “Can’t I do Tiger Lily instead? Wendy’s on stage all the time and doesn’t even have a song, and Tiger Lily has two!” He was very surprised by that, but thankfully, he let me have my way. I had fun, got a lot of attention, and didn’t have to work too hard. “Ug-a-wug-WAH!”
The lesson is to know what you want so you can pick the path that will lead you there. Don’t be blinded by the glitter of the wrappings. Look within the box at the real present inside the package. Then decide if that’s what you really want. It doesn’t matter if everyone else thinks that’s the best goal in the world, if getting it won’t make you happy or fulfilled. And it doesn’t matter if everyone else thinks your goal is crazy, either. Do you think Marta’s friends and family thought it was a fine idea for her to buy a theater in a ghost town and paint an audience on the walls of it to perform for? Your goal is your goal you don’t have to answer to anyone else about whether it’s the right goal or the best goal. It’s your goal, and that’s all that counts.
To be fair, there is a downside to being small. Some people may discount you, pay you no attention, think you’d be bigger if you could be, think you’re a failure, and chide you for not honoring the adage “Go big or go home.”
Let them. Who cares if they don’t understand you? Let them discover for themselves that contentment can be found in small things; that your mom was right when she told you that big presents often come in small packages. Zillionaires can be big or small. It all depends on whether or not you are being true to your inner goals. Here is the one-question test: Are you happy?
My goal now is to be a Wise Woman. I want to help others find the wisdom within themselves so that they can live a good and honorable life, full of riches—interior ones and exterior ones. I don’t have to change the world and I don’t have to be famous. I will help the people who find me; the people who want what I have. And I will help them find their own-size goals, not necessarily world-size goals. If one of my books becomes a bestseller that will be great, because that will mean I’m helping a lot of people. I’ll make a lot of money, too, and that is certainly a fine thing. But if it is only treasured by a few, it is just as worthwhile to me, because I care about each reader and want to feel I have helped them. The Wealthy Spirit hasn’t qualified for bestseller status, yet I have received thousands of letters of thanks and appreciation from readers that have warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Those letters, and the fun I have with the process of writing, are enough to satisfy me.
Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. He was way off. With all the reality shows, interview shows, talk shows, shout shows, 500 channels on television, and a million magazines and their constant barrages about food, money and sex, everyone only gets fifteen seconds now. Everyone promises you the moon and the millions. I get email ads from authors every day, saying “Buy my book on amazon.com on Friday and I’ll become a #1 bestseller (for a day) and in return, I’ll send you $8,500 worth of free gifts!” Why do you have to bribe me with $8,500 in free gifts to buy a $20 book? Can’t a $20 book just be a great $20 value? T. Harv said that Robert Kiyosaki told him he wanted to have the best-selling book, not the best written book. Does it have to be an either-or proposition? It’s all too much. Too much hype, too much stuff, too many people. Not enough life. Not enough joy. Not enough Zillionaire.
In their futurist book, The 500 Year Delta, Watts Wacker and Jim Taylor with Howard Means state that “What society has always treasured is what is scarce. The old status objects are all over the place, begging to be bought. Satisfaction and domestic contentment have rarity, and rarity, as always, has the greatest value.” This book was published in 1997, but I never forgot this passage: “If you want status, walk into a room and announce that, amidst the ambient chaos of our times, you’re a happy person.”
I’ve found that happy people never have to make that declaration. You can smell it on them. You can see it in their eyes; you can feel the energy of the joy that pours from them. I used to hunger for that, and tried the diets and the high heels and the status jobs in order to get it. But those aren’t the things that get it for you. When you find the work that makes you sing, and helps others to sing along with you—that’s where happiness lies. Whatever someone else might say about me or my “success”, I know that I’ve never been happier in my life. I’m living my life the way I want, I’m doing the work I want, and I have enough of the things I want.
I don’t have to be all things to all people. I can be something to some people. I am delighted with the dolphins that have found my work helpful to them. How many of them there are will be the result of grassroots word-of-mouth, not because I pay the most money for the biggest advertising campaign, the most email spam, or the most appearances on television. Some 300,000 books are published every year. Who’s going to buy all those books? I’m not going to run around frantically hyping my books, saying “Pick me! Pick me!” I love to talk, so I’ll do book signings and I’ll give a few speeches. If I’m lucky, I’ll do some radio shows, and if I’m really lucky, I’ll be on television shows. I will radiate my joy and love and helpfulness as much as I can. My job, as my coach Greg Mooers says, is to “glow purple.” Then everyone who wants purple will be attracted to that and come find me. I am content to be rare.
It’s because I love myself now, that I can love my life. Because I love myself, I can love you. If accolades come, that’ll be fun. If I get a little taste of fame, that’ll be fun, too. More money, more fun. But my life is fun anyway. Do you see?
What do you want, Zillionaire? Why do you want it? How is your life without it? What is important to you when night falls? The purpose of work is to be happy at home. Home isn’t a support to make you better at your job. Your spouse and your children aren’t there to get stuff done for you so that you can work harder, longer hours. They aren’t irritations. They are your heart. They are your life. Make sure your goals include loving and nurturing them, or you are spending your energy on wrappings instead of gifts.
posted by Roslan Shamsuddin at 8:15 PM
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