Forgive and Forget?!?!?

Forgive and Forget.

Is that really possible? I'm not talking about angels or saints but mere mortal like us. So is it possible? Or is it some high ideals that we should strive for?

I believe that "to forgive is divine". For one thing, forgiving is a necessary part of the healing process for both the offender and the aggrieved party. Forgiving someone releases you as much as it releases the offending party. Secondly , forgiving does not equal to condoning the offending act. So to me it is OK to forgive the offender cos it does not mean that I approve nor condone the hateful act. Like I said earlier, it is necessary for the healing process to take place. It releases us of the hate, anger, hostlity and all the unecessary baggage that we would otherwise have to carry all our life.

However it can be rather difficult to forgive someone for the crime/injustice /pain/harm etc that they have inflicted on us. As part of the forgiving process, I try to walk a mile in the guilty party's shoes. I remind myself that everyone , including myself, is always doing the best that they can given the knowledge and resources that they have at that particular time.

My litmus test for forgiveness is when I do not harbour any more ill will or revenge towards the offending party. Neither will I go into a rage or hate mode whenever memories of the unfortunate events strike.

Anyhow, try forgiving someone. See how light you become as a result of that.

It is the forgetting part that I have a problem with. Can one truly forget? Wipe the slate clean and start all over again as if nothing happens. It may be possible for minor transgression but for the really big ones, is it possible?

My take on this is that I can and may forgive but I cannot forget. I believe that one should come out wiser from every situation. So if I have been conned by someone, then I will be careful the second time around. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!

So readers, any thoughts? Do let me know.

Cheers

Let go and Let GOD

I have always been intrigued by the issue of Fate Vs Free Will. Is everything all predestined or that there is some higher power working out every details of my life?

But I guess I have come full circle on this issue. I used to grow up with this strong indoctrination that Life is predestined and to accept everything with grace. However at that tender age, it was too much for my bloated ego to accept that I'm powerless to shape and mould my life. I subscribe and endear myself to the concept that "We are the Masters of Our Fate"

However, life experieneces have taught me that sometimes, despite some of my best efforts, I'm unable to steer and direct my life to some acceptable outcome. Sure, for every failure, there's a gift(lesson) waiting for me to discover. But that is exactly the point. It was NOT meant to be. So I can try but the outcome has already been decided.

So where do I go from here if I'm powerless over my Life?

1. Accept with grace cos everything is happening in PERFECT order. I'm supposed to experience all that I'm experiencing in the exact same order that it is happenning.

2. Learn to really embrace from all the experiences(good and bad) and relish it. I have learnt that when I let go and let GOD, miracles do happen and that Life is not so tough after all. I become more at peace and able to enjoy my life to a higher degree than ever before.

3. Since I do not know the outcome of life, I might as well enjoy the process.

4.Nowadays I just do what feels right for me. The outcome is for GOD to decide, not me. Sure I have a preference for the outcome but I'm not so hung up anymore on the outcome in that a certain outcome has to happen for me to feel and be ok. I will be OK and can be OK with the outcome cos that is exactly the outcome that i need to find my life lessons.

5. I believe that life is a series of experiences (both good and bad) for me to experience to enrich my life. So no matter what I do or happens to me, I try to experienece the experience fully and not resist FATE and wish that things could be different. This is tough though cos I still wish sometimes that certain events do not happen the way it did. But you know what, I'm just a human being, not perfect.And the good news is that i expend less and less energy on resisting fate and more and more on finding how I can benefit from the situation. When Life hands me a lemon, I make Lemonade!

So I'm still travelling on this Life's journey and trying to soak in all the magical wonders that the world has to offer.

Cheers